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On occasion, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually followed by a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his behavior, making him especially susceptible to disapproval from those around him. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and was later diagnosed by a professional. However, he questions he would have taken the label if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization personally. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And that world is like, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Though people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he believes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through things like pursuing power,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Although up to 75% of people identified as having NPD are men, findings points out this figure does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the covert form, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I either go into self-protection or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her previous life. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be connected with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he says. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his GP, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the presence of online advocates and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number